Friday, March 13, 2009

Security Alert!

As the weather warms, we are reminded that the bad guys will be coming out of their caves to cause trouble. The threats are very specific...or so we are told.


After a recent late winter snow storm, this infiltrator was apprehended by alert Afghan security forces.


Intelligence indicates that there are several suicide vehicle borne improvised explosive devices (SVBIEDs)in town. Intelligence further reports that the most likely vehicle is a Toyota Corolla...like this one.
Um...that narrows it down to about 50,000 vehicles in Kabul.



Sucurity Update 2!
Sources have confirmed SVBIEDs will likely be white Toyota Corollas with Kabul plates.
Better...only about 12,000 of those in Kabul.


Security Update 3!
New intelligence indicates the attackers are planning on using a yellow taxi with Kabul plates. Wonderful...only about 20,000 of those in town.


Note: earlier reports are also still in effect. That means the white Toyota Corolla on the left and the one parked on the right, visible between the van and taxi are still "in play."
The red Toyota Corolla visible on the left is another possibility.
And if you look through the window of the SUV in front of the center taxi you see...ANOTHER TAXI!
But you should be ok if you avoid crowded narrow streets...


...and traffic circles...


...road intersections...


...and places taxis (and white Toyota Corollas) congregate...like alongside the road.


Since the main targets are thought to be security forces, it is best to avoid Coalition military vehicles...especially on narrow roads...


...and Afghan Security Forces vehicles.


Security Update 4!
Flower-covered jaunty carts do not appear to be a threat at this time.
I'm so relieved...there's maybe a dozen in town.

10 comments:

momcat said...

Nice of them to make the bombs so easy to spot! I'd be tempted to stay home.

Vodka Mom said...

That was great- loved the ice cold bastard in the first photo.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I've never trusted snowmen myself, with their cold demeanor and magic hats. Keep a wary eye...

Charles Gramlich said...

I see the Afghan security force vehicles are a little less sophisticated than the American versions.

Henry the Dog's Mum said...

I love your blog because it means I get to see an entirely different side of life in an entirely different part of the world, from a totally unbiased viewpoint, none of the hype of the media or the alarmist views. Love your mixture of light and serious. How do you hold your nerve?

Sunny said...

That snowguy is so scared, I pity him.

Your report proves that your intelligence is very thorough.

Good luck to you here and stay away from overcrowded streets with heavy traffic filled with taxies, toyotas and army vehicles of all shape and sizes.

Keep us updated!

P.S. what about that R-comment on my post? I'd love to read it anyway ;)

HoodChick said...

I'd stick with the flowery carts, they look more fun than the cabs anyway.

Barbara Martin said...

The flowery carts are right up my alley. Stay safe, J.L.

The Muse said...

Hey J.L!

The traffic photos reminded me of the movie European Vacation. When Chase was driving that circle and couldn't get over for his turn.

Those security updates are very useful, seemingly. I suppose there are so many white cars because the heat gets up there. Seems they wouldn't want to use them though, since white cars stay cooler in the heat. They should use black cars.

Take care of yourself!

J. L. Krueger said...

momcat,
After a while you come to realize that when it's your time, it's your time. No sense worrying about it.

Vodka Mom,
Yeah, the Afghans really do have a sense of humor.

Sex,
I think Amnesty International is investigating for torture. He was left out in the sun and did not fare too well.

Charles,
They are only beginning to get uparmored Humvees. They still rely heavily on Ford Rangers.

Henry the Dog's Mum,
I find it very easy to hold nerve here. The Afghans are incredibly friendly people. And they do look out for us.

Sunny,
It was a pithy comment that hit me right then...I'll see if it comes to me again.

HoodChick,
The jaunty carts are probably safer too. Driving through town is an "adventure" all by itself.

Barbara,
I could see a geat tourist trade here if the violence could be eliminated. There's lots of potential.

Muse!
Their traffic circles get even crazier because frequently there are cars going in both directions. Makes for some interesting tie-ups.